“I’m So Bored” — It’s Not Me, It’s My Brain
The ADHD battle for dopamine
One of the things I have found since I have not been working 4 or 5 days a week is that I am bored more often. I mean, I’m supposed to be writing. That’s why I don’t work at the day job as much as I used to. But boredom overcomes me and I can’t get going!
Everyone feels bored sometimes. So, you know how I feel. Now imagine feeling that ALL THE TIME!
Ok, there are moments when I’m not bored. I’m not bored at work if we’re in the middle of a rush. Some of my co-workers complain when we get slammed but honestly, after we’ve just had a massive seating and we’re just a little understaffed and I’ve had to bust my ass to take care of all the tables that came in (or better yet, a big party that came in without a reservation that I probably complained about), I feel energized and ready to conquer anything.
I’m not bored when I’m shopping or driving and listening to an audiobook. I’m not bored when I have a new video game to play. I’m not bored when I have something challenging to do.
But most of the time, I’m so bored. And that drains my energy and prevents me from starting anything that would cure my boredom.
ADHD boredom is related to dopamine deficiency
Boredom is one of the side effects of a dopamine deficiency. It manifests in different ways.
If you’re you have a dopamine deficiency you might experience some of the following things:
- indifference about things you once enjoyed
- moodiness
- forgetting things
- problems sleeping
- inability to concentrate
- lack of interest in sex
- no desire for social interaction
- restlessness
- anxiety
This is just a starter list!
Often, people with ADHD will do damn near anything to break the cycle of boredom and lack of dopamine.
For some people, that translates to addictions — drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling, and yes, sex. These things give you a dopamine high.
Unfortunately, they don’t last long, and they aren’t healthy.
It’s not that we don’t know healthier ways to increase dopamine and break the boredom trap. We could go for a walk or a run. We could do any other kind of physical activity (yoga, swimming, group sports, etc.). We could cook a big meal and use our imagination to come up with some interesting combinations of food, plating it in an attractive manner. We could call someone interesting for a chat.
The problem is, these all take energy (mental or physical) that we just don’t have. Sometimes, it’s just too much energy.
I need to break the cycle
I know that I just need to break the cycle in order to get some dopamine flowing again. It’s just a matter of finding something healthy to get me through it.
Wonder if I should go back to work full-time? Ugh, no.
I’m not looking for answers. I’m just writing about it to try and cure my boredom. And in the hopes that people will read this and I’ll see money coming in because that is one of the things that gives me a dopamine boost!
I’ll get there. Hopefully.
